Thursday, October 27, 2011


They all say it changes everything about a person. It's true. But for the better? I don't think so.

Love is this cruel thing created for living things. In addition, we have these countless movies and songs that make us believe in love! That love is actually fun and true.. and.. sighs
Love just sucks. It tends to make you feel alive enough to make you feel sorry in the end. It makes you blind about a certain person..nay, It makes you numb. You see that everything's completely wrong with the person you think you "love" and yet you just let him/her be. You still find him/her adorable. You let them use you. You lose who you really are as years pass by. You won't even know yourself. It gets you so lost that you just want to rewind everything. Regret and hate that person for causing you so much pain. Too much pain. It makes you feel so stupid for even thinking that it would still work. It will make you cry for so many days until you look like shit. It will make making decisions 10x harder. It will make you all twisted and mad inside. It will make you want to hit him with a vase or a chair or like.. a phone or something.

Don't get me wrong! falling in love is a nice feeling. Fireworks and sparks and giggly feeling and other things. But staying in love? It's a whole different issue! Hey, I even consider it as a problem. It makes you expect only to be knocked down by the same person who you thought would do anything for you. Your "prince charming" or "knight in shining armor" supposed to be. Love will make you fragile. So sensitive that everything he does or say will only hurt you. You will not know who's right or wrong anymore.. All you'll feel is anger and curiosity. Curious for answers. It'll all be confusing and blurred. You'll be left with a runny nose and eye bags. You'll get your stupid little heart broken. It will ache so much in the process of moving on which at first would have no progress whatsoever. All those promises you made with each other? bullshit. No one keeps promises nowadays.

end for now

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Si Masayahing Bata.

So, I don't even know where to start.
I promised her that I will blog about her since I blogged about flery. XD Here goes..

Slim frame, tall, tan, straight hair with a pair of "kinda" deep set eyes.

She is one of the friendliest girl I have ever known. She knows no limits, accepts challenges, and a certified risk taker. She is really not the type of girl who is shy, rather she is very (and i mean V-E-R-Y) vocal. She loves to sing (like, soooo much!) and dance. In one day, she can sing about 20 choruses of songs she likes.
If you need someone to laugh at your jokes even the super duper corny ones, get her number from me.
SHE LAUGHS ALL THE TIME. As in, not just for a minute or two, but for like.. 10 mins or so. Seriously. Take my word for it. She knows my deepest darkest secret and I know for sure that she wouldn't tell anyone. I trust her so much. She's one unique girl who knows how to appreciate good times, good vibes and good friends. She is immature at times ( who isn't? lol) but gets seriously mad and irritated (especially with flery) sometimes. TALKATIVE. Enough said. For her age, she is still quite curious about stuffs and has the attention span of a 6 year old (i quote flery). We never really had a misunderstanding or a big fight or anything. I just enjoy her company. She helps turn my bad days around since she laughs at every single thing. Her good vibes are often sent out to the rest of my friends so she is really one key element to keep my "badtrips" away.

Hmm.. I guess that's all I gotta say, I can't imagine college life without her (aaawww..) because she's one of my friends that I am really close with. PLUS, I just love finding her a boy friend! :D

Check out her blog here!


>> M.

Wew. Doodle Work: Pastime and Rants.

(I know it doesn't look much of a doodle, but I like it... so shut up.)

so, I finally agreed with myself that I have a hint of "art" in me after all. Yes, I have a talent, and no, I am not much proud of it. why? coz I know I can still practice and I know that there's still a lot (and I mean A LOT) to learn. I really really want to enhance my so called "talent". I don't wanna be just another girl, I want to have something special. If no one out there makes me feel special, I would try my best to trick myself into thinking that I am! I don't wanna be compared to anyone. I am dying to punch people who keep saying that "oh, that looks like "toooot's" work or hey, that looks cute, "toooot" must have made it."  Yea, people kinda like me for my "acting" skills, but I think they just think that my voice is funny coz it gets really pitchy when I shout. I just.. I really don't know. I feel depressed, no one appreciates me being around (emo. lol).  I'm done crying over this tiny tiny thing. I think I'm going mental! Gosh, I really get sensitive when it comes to my well being. I need something to boost my self- esteem. Seriously, my self esteem is lower than.. than.. everything? see! I can't even think of something.

Am I really not capable of doing something nice ( worth to be appreciated )? Am I not worthy of being told that I'm good at something?

I really hate myself. I wish I could try harder to do something about it. I really just.. *sigh
I feel worthless, like I'm good at nothing! I constantly strive to be best at something.. anything! I'm just really a loser. I talk too much, I eat too much, I sleep too much, I rant too much..

I'm just tired. I just really wanna feel special, I envy those whose talents are really at its "full bloom", and the way people adore their work.. I miss that feeling.. eerr..

I think a need a psychologist for my rants.

RANT RANT RANT. ( This post is like a kid with a razor blade deciding if he's ready to die or not. lol. )

Monday, September 12, 2011

Constant Loop

Have you ever felt like everyday is just an exact photocopy of the day before?

That's basically what my past two weeks have been. (*sigh) nothing special (good, great, stupendous, glorious, miraculous, weird) has happened! and usually I intend to break this so called "week-repeat" (yea, i thought of what I will call it)  but I just really don't feel like doing anything! (plus, I'm broke=zero balance in my pocket). I tried to write a short story for my other blog, but I just can't think of anything. I tried to color my doodle in Photoshop, but the stupid scanner won't scan. I tried to ask my friends to play Rock Band (my guilty pleasure, never fails to make me happy all week), but they're also as broke as I am. I want to practice photography, but I feel like every time i put my slr in my bag it gets heavy (plus the tons of paper for notes, doodles, etc.). I wanna play pottermore, but I didn't register (I have to wait till October T_T).  I'm just too lazy to do anything. Well, at least I'm studying for quizzes/tests the day before (that's a first) and I pass my assignments on time. That's probably one positive thing, right? I need someone to amuse me. HELP.

Oh well, that's all, I just love to rant. sue me. 

How the hell did I ran out of cash anyway?!

>> M.

Saturday, September 03, 2011

got a C. wew,

My Lakbayan grade is C!
How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!
Created by Eugene Villar.

this sucks! i expected atleast a B. haha. i really thought that because my family loves to travel, i would have visited a lot in the philippines. turns out, there's still more to discover. oh well. :D

Friday, September 02, 2011

can't stop..addiction..

that's it! i'm totally addicted to photoshop again. *sigh

so here's what i've done this evening.

haha! played around with fleryberry's picture. :D

wew, *yawns. i'm sleepy so i'm gonna hit the sacks. good night. 

Friday, August 26, 2011

My long weekend!

long weekend finally came! no classes for 4 days! i'm totally loving it. :D
but.. there's this storm, and i can't do much outside, so i decided to do some editing in photoshop. haha!

DAY 1 with cs4. (august 27, saturday)
(yes, i'm still using cs4 okay? sue me.)

 raine, danica and agel.
normal editing (brightness, contrast, etc.)
(Rob Ermita)

agel. lomo-ish effect.

Paper thingy. lol

first attempt for the "scribble" effect.

me, with full bangs. ( 
i think..ina took this. :P
just adjusted the light here using the render filter.

ina (freshmen initiation)
dim lighting.


agel & ina
freshmen initiation
sepia effect. (i adjusted the tint in b&w adjustments and the light.)

DAY 2: i went out with my family. :D (picture picture

my favorite earrings. (pacgirl. haha.)

the grass is greener on the other side. lol.

we went to north cemetery to visit my grandpa. ( rest in peace)

hello there. :D

manila's busy streets.

hah! went to rob mla. (sale kasi ee. haha!)

wew! i got dizzy coz of the hundreds of people in rob. apparently, nba held their "Rookie Draft" there. I never really liked basketball so..  Ididn't really care.

fuzzy lights in taft ave! (passenger's seat view.)

DAY 3.  Eastwood.

we bought my dad his birthday present, a pair of top siders. :D

my sister, lonely effect

happy birthday papa! :D

dad and mom, holding hands. haha! just took the shot for fun.

night life in eastwood is so fun. *sigh

johnny rockets CD juke box! I wanna have one of these. :D

my mom, me and my sis.

sorry for the blurred picture. yum yum! unlimited fries! :P

take note (flery), that i didn't use actions for any of this. srsly. haha! :D

Friday, August 12, 2011

that particular platypus

she has this messy curly hair that has been dyed a thousand times, red lips and fair skin.
she's about the same height as me, but she's WAAAY weirder than me. :D
she's a probinsyana from Mindanao (Tacurong to be exact) and her mom thinks that manileñas are all "party girls".
there is really nothing special about this girl (lol) and i just felt like blogging about her coz:
1. I've got nothing to blog about
2.she's the reason why i tried blogging
3.i liked the title of this post when i typed it
4.that's all the reason i have.

she shifted course from accountancy to communication arts (i know, big difference). but honestly, i think she belongs to advertising or fine arts since she is really a very artistic girl. she has her own world, but is restricted by her nanay (as she calls her mom). what else? it has been my ultimate goal to top her in every subject (but it really is very hard). haha. i guess i haven't exerted that much effort. *sigh. she's a fellow harry potter fan. she has this attitude that she'll do what she wants, without thinking about what her friends will feel.
she is sometimes childish, and I've never seen her serious ( she loves editing stuffs, and she always notices mistakes. I honestly thought that she was Bi. haha! but she's totally straight.
she has this blog,, and it's not bad.. in fact it's much more of a blog than mine. haha.
we call her "flery the platypus" ( get it? haha!)
 i know 40% of her deepest darkest secret.hehe.

she's a type of girl that's never simple, still a kid, and not yet ready to grow up. :)
but we all love her for what she is,
the weirdest of all human beings.(okay, so maybe i exaggerated too much, sue me.)

hey, where's flery? (haha. never gets old.)

(imma blog about 2 other friends next time, my head aches sooo much)

TEEHEE! ã  marnelligaerlan

Thursday, July 28, 2011


(sorry in advance for the stupid ranting..i'm just totally tired)

it's 2:40 in the morning..
i'm still stuck here(8 hours straight! & yes, no potty breaks.) in front of my pc doing the stupid stupid stupid documentary film to be passed later at 7:30am.

i have no f*cking sleep!!

i looked in the mirror a while ago just to see my eyes growing two large bags beneath them.
i'm sooo screwed.
why won't the windows movie maker file just save into a movie? (don't judge me! i dunno how to use adobe after effects or other video editors.)
i'm totally pissed! how am i supposed to have energy for class later??
this is totally unacceptable.
i've repeated it a hundred times(i dunno if i'm exaggerating.) the file just wont publish into a movie!
i'm going bananas! (i do feel like a monkey now)
i've never failed in my forte (to edit things..i think) before!!
my back is aching. my head feels dizzy( yea! like i have some kind of hangover or something)..
i can't even open my eyes properly!

i'm just too pissed!
when i pass this documentary later, i'm gonna go chill somewhere (noriter, etc.), treat myself to a nice dinner, and get some freaking sleep!!

i forgot! i HAVE NO TiME TO SLEEP!
we're headed to Zambales(our province) this weekend. why ooooh why is this happening?
to top that all off, when we come back this sunday, i have to do my community service for our Religion class!
uuuuuhh boy..
what happened to the good old days when you do nothing but sleep, eat, blog, sleep?

(wait, imma check the video)

what am i gonna do??


i'm literally crying. :'(

sigh sigh sigh sigh.
time check=3:00am
another attempt
*double fingers crossed!!
okay okay, so far, plan A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P didn't work!

let's go to PLAN Q!
(i'm pretty sure that i didn't think of anything for plan q)

whatever. imma focus on my work now.


Tuesday, July 26, 2011

that Asian on you tube

haha. just wanna share one of nigahiga's(ryan higa) video!

this guy never fails to make me laugh! i dunno where he gets his super funny jokes and skits!
He's my favorite You tube star. lolololoooooove him! <3

and omigosh, he even looks like Robi Domingo, (my ultimate crush BEFORE). but i think Ryan Higa has more (and better) sense of humor. and..(cue audio here) TENENENEENN... TEN TEN!
he's cute too. :">

oh well, still hoping that classes will be suspended tomorrow! (college students are not water-proofed you know?)
i can't even imagine going to school tomorrow with the heavy rain, the heavy traffic in taft ave.. and of course, the flooded streets that never fail to make my rainy days BLUER. (-_-)
*fingers crossed

TEEHEE! ã  marnelligaerlan